The previous entry was posted at 2am when my head was pounding and that's the reason why it's so short. I wanted to put it up before I forgot. There are a lot of things that I want to blog about but because of my delaying, they usually slipped my mind and being replaced by something else which are not important at all to blog about. Eh, why is my English berterabur? Duh.

I am lying if I say I don't wonder (topic at previous post). But then, I didn't say I don't, right? Who doesn't wonder about such things? One even commented that he wonders what would happened if his parents aren't married to one another.

The truth is, I do wonder. What if I married the one whom I went out with for a year and later found out that he's an addict? Or maybe the one that was so possesive he nearly made me a physically abused girl for two years? Those were the reasons why we weren't together for long. But of course, from what I heard, both are now a loving husbands to their wives.

The point is, what if I was patient enough to go through all that with either of them? If I am given a chance to turn back the clock, and change the past, will I do it?

I will definitely take it. I'd love to go back to my younger years when there're lessers things to think about. Lesser bills to pay. Only myself to care about.

But I wouldn't change the past. The past makes me what I am today. Fate brought him and me together. Never in my younger life had I imagined that my husband would be of different race. He was just one of the guys whom I met and had a torch on me (Chedebah!). But he surpassed others. And I never regret for one moment being married to him. Oh yes there are arguments and misunderstandings. Sometimes we even conduct a yelling match. But all those not only make us learn about each other much better, but it also strengthen the relationship. In the end of the day, it's him whom I wanna be with. It's him whom I kiss goodnight. (eh macam lagu Shania Twain) Oh, I have to add this, in case he reads it. Even though sometimes he hurt me and left me crying to my sleep, I've never thought about would I be crying if I married others instead? I'm happy with my life right now. And there's no one in the world can change it, God's willing. (teringat Indecent Proposal, but that's another story :D)

I think this is the most personal entry I've ever done. I should say that this is also a belated 8th year marriage anniversary entry. If there's such a thing. And we are blessed with Diana and Rayyan. What's more can we ask for?