~ Life, is like a box of Chocolates ~

Monday, February 13, 2006

Why do husbands don't feel bad or guilty when they return home late?

Why do we (the wives) try our best to return home as early as possible, just so we can please our husbands?

It doesn't matter where everyone were from. Be it work, shopping, golf, soccer game, or just hanging out with friends at a cafe. Husbands can spend as much time as they want away from us without feeling the force to return home quickly. Even though we phone to ask "when are you coming home?", their answers always came out as simple as "soon". However, their soon are always not soon enough. And when they do reach home, they have the unconcerned look on their faces as if it's a normal thing to be home late, that they feel what they did while they were away was a big important thing. (Could it ever be the $1m deal?)

But when husbands phone their wives to ask the same questions, we will rush home without finishing our shopping or the coffee we were having. The "soon" answer is like poof!!!, and we appear at the door with a worried look, afraid if we might get a cold treatment.

Do husbands feel they are more superior (it's not like a job, a company, isn't it?)? And why do wives always feel afraid if the husbands are not happy with their absence from home? Are we unstable? Or are we just a mere submissive creatures?

Frustrating.

PS. Joyah, Jenab, wa macam Carrie Bradshaw no? :p

posted by Lynn | You wanna say something?

8 Comments:

yes! im the first....
my point of view to this topic is
- WAIT TILL i get married!!!

wahhahahahahha...

seriously, between me and my mom, when my asked me where i was, i usually give her a timing when i will arrive safely at home...

usually my dad's case, he will just add, soon too...

but that soon is never enough from my mom... let me asked my dad, and get back to u....

;)

By Geek In Pink, at Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Alamak nyonya lu cakap manyak accurate lah but in my case I think its self-imposed guilt. I always plan my girls' night out on nights I know he will be busy. And always feel bad esp when he is dinner-less. asal eh? kita pompuan ni manyak suka risaukan hati sendiri lah ....

And yeah!!!! U're the next Carrie Bradshaw. Dun 4get the manalos !!!

By shsuya, at Tuesday, February 14, 2006
ah boi, my husband also sometimes give timing, but he always not on time. I think he's with Thailand time. Tsk.

Jenab, I usually will get his dinner ready before I go out. Very thoughtful kan? But still, he'll tell me to come back early, padahal I selalu kuar kul 7 or 8pm (whenever he's back so that he can be with the kids and i can take the car). Kalau come back early tu kul 10 eh? Mekkao! Lebih baik tak payah kuar seh.

This Blahnik fella have meh in Singapore???

By Lynn, at Tuesday, February 14, 2006
We are just mere submissive creatures. But then again, we were made as the softer human beings. It's just natural for us to be there at their "beck and call". Regardless of the liberal and feminist world existing nowadays, we depend on them, lean on them, we need them more than we think, more than we say.

It's that "I am man, I am in-charge" personification that makes them think it's ok to say "Ok, I'll be home soon" yet they return hours later. Tis' the same like my parents, the father would sulk if my mum and I were to return late from shopping. But when he comes home late after an "makan-session" with his mates, it's a-okay. Selamba bomba.

In a whole lot of ways, I guess we the girls, ladies and women, are so much more thoughtful, caring, concern and perhaps more responsible than they are. We were made to be that and a whole lot more.

Afterall, we do through the monthly "illness" and we're the ones carrying a baby for 9 months. Not them. :o)

"I am WOMAN, here me roar!"

By Kynne, at Tuesday, February 14, 2006
I wrote about this before in my January entry. My first huge argument this year with my wife was related to this issue as a matter of fact. She went out with her friends after work and came back at midnight. I have my reasons as to why I got angry over this.

1) When she goes out, she somehow always misses out on her prayers. I am not trying to be preachy here but I am always very particular with this. If she wants to go out, she can go. But if I let her go, then she must make sure she doesn't miss out on her prayers. So far, she hasn't convinced me she's THAT responsible yet. So if I'm sceptical, don't look at me.

2) She can go out but don't come back too late. She would sometimes complain that her job takes much of her time away from the kids and that she misses them. She would usually say this when she comes home late and the kids are both already asleep and then leaves early before the kids are even awake. When she goes out with her friends and comes home at midnight, the same thing happens; the kids are asleep when she gets home and they are still sleeping when she leaves. So why complain?

3) It is a lot riskier for a woman to be walking home alone at night. Crimes (especially sexually-related ones) befall them more often than it does to men. So if anything, my disapproval has little to do with not allowing her the freedom to roam around because I am king or because I want to deprive her of her happiness, but more to do with being worried shitless for her safety. Low crime does not mean no crime, remember? As a husband, I worry.

4) I just miss not having her around. I hope this is not hard to believe but I really enjoy my wife's company, even after all these years. I start missing her the moment she steps out of the house for work so if she decides to go out with friends after work, it means I have to miss her for a longer time which sucks.

5) I do both working and parenting at the same time. It is very tough for me sometimes. So with her around, it's a considerable load off my shoulders. She (and many others), on the other hand, despite being parents and working too, don't do both at the same time. When she works, she works (no parenting duties). When she comes home, she becomes a parent (no work). I have to wash bums while in the middle of writing e-mails to customers, prepare an order while I'm cooking, send the kids to school and send packages overseas right after that (or sometimes bring them along too if they've finished school). All that stuff and many more.

I don't think I want to elaborate further because it would seem like I'm complaining. And I'm not complaining. Not at all. I'm loving my life so far, albeit very, very tiring. I just thought of giving you my reasons to your many questions which seem to be directed at anyone reading since it was posed in a very general sense. And my reasons are mine alone so it doesn't apply to everyone else. Some of them may have better reasons. So.

However, if you're having a problem with your husband about this issue, if I may suggest something, it would be wise for the both of you to cool down first. After you've both cooled down, start talking about it and discuss the problem and see if the both of you can come to a compromise.

On an unrelated note, you think I can be the next Tony Robbins or not? I can psycho people or not?

Have a nice day. And sorry for the long-winded comment. I don't come oredi okay? You want? Want? Want? Majnon, you want?

By Al Sayf, at Wednesday, February 15, 2006
I am not married but i juz feel like putting a comment.

Can i?

are husband always like that?

I dun wanna to get married then.
khekhkhehe....

By Project Xian, at Friday, February 17, 2006
Hah, Lynn, it's because the men can't do without the women. There. Simple ain't it? Believe me, wait till he gets older... you'll know what I mean. SIGH.

By Asha, at Friday, February 17, 2006
HAHAHAHAHA!! Thailand time! Hahahaha! Tak agakagak ah luh minah!

Tersedak asap aku kat sini!

By Anonymous, at Tuesday, February 21, 2006